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Posts Tagged ‘returning’

I’m Returning


 

I am returning to the place

where it is just Jesus and me —

like it was at the beginning;

when I first began to turn to Him —

running blindly in my desperation,

pleading, searching, —

only to find Him waiting for me in the dark.

I feel this tension as I come upon the 40th milestone,

 as if God is building up to something big,

where I will be discovered in Him afresh.

And so, I will return to my authentic self —

to the place before all others came along,

 who became my attraction-distraction

with their seductive appeals to change me,

to move me, to form me,

where  my desire to satisfy the craving of praise

put on a persona to be adored and revered —

and so much more that followed swiftly thereafter —

a downward stumble, a tumble, a steep fall

down the mountain, away from Your arms.

I’m returning to that place

where Jesus was my all in all,

the one I loved singularly, exclusively,

above all other affections,

where my love was given to Him,

renewing and restoring my heart;

where His vision was my vision,

His eyes my only focus.

Jesus, I’m returning to You

with my whole heart,

with all my soul, with all my mind and strength —

to You my first love.

I’m returning to where

the pleasure of my coming to Him thrilled me —

and Him —

where His word was read to me by His Spirit

and all my questions were answered by His wisdom;

where the joy of His Presence

hid me away in the studio

of my creativity kindled by Love revealed —

full of inspiring other-worldly color and wonder;

where I learned to be quieted

to hear Him speak

in the secret place of our meeting;

where I understood that obedience

equals love and God’s intense pleasure;

where mystery is kissed

with the simplicity of Truth

wrapped in swaddling clothes called “Humility;”  

where morning and evening

met as one

and time was not kept;

where songs of praise

were continually offered upon my heart-strings

and flowed out like a rushing, raging river

across all obstacles in its way;

where the fragrant incense of my worship

arose to meet the passion of

His love in response.

Jesus, I’m returning . . .

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